I wanted to do a blog on self-esteem because this is something it took me a while to understand. We should all value improving our self-esteem. When your self-esteem is higher, you are more likely to experience common emotional wounds such as failure or rejection as less painful and be able to bounce back from them more quickly. When our self-esteem is higher, we have less anxiety and we release cortisol into our blood streams while if under stress, it is more likely to linger in our systems and make it harder to lose weight. Having high self-esteem is a very good thing. We are not talking about being cocky but confident. Below I will give you some steps to help you with your self-esteem.
Affirmations are key:
I didn’t realize for years what I spoke over myself was the reason I had such low self-esteem. I grew up feeling like the stupid kid in class and fought a learning disability until I quit school in the tenth grade. I would always call myself stupid, say I have a learning disability, claim that I wasn’t good enough. I did this for years over myself. I would lose jobs that I really loved because I didn’t think I was good enough to have them. What you speak over your life is what you will get. It was when I started to read self help books and learn to speak life over myself that my mindset began to change. It doesn’t matter where you grew up, how much money you have, or even how smart you are, what matters is what you believe you are. I began to speak positive affirmations over my life such as “I am going to be a great success!” Did I believe it at first? No, not at all I actually felt stupid saying it but the more I spoke it the more I started to believe it. I had to learn to retrain my brain into believing I was the person I also wanted to be. I prayed that God would let me see myself through his eyes and not my own. I learned that I would no longer call myself stupid or even speak that I have a leaning disability. I am as author and I believe that wouldn’t have happened if I would of kept telling myself that I wasn’t good enough. I fought through the thoughts of not being good enough and poured myself into my book. I was blown away when it became a best seller. It is what you speak over yourself. Tell yourself what you want to be not what you dislike about yourself. Having a high self-esteem is believing in the person you have always wanted to be no matter what!
What are you good at?
God made us all unique and that is what makes each one of us special. To have a great self-esteem you need to pride yourself on what you are good at. Some of you may be a great cook. When you cook people rave about how amazing your food taste. This should allow you self-esteem to build. Invite friends over to show off your talent of cooking. It is okay to be proud of a gift the good Lord gave you. Maybe you are a singer and when you sing people get chill bumps. Not everyone can sing so this is a talent you can feel good about and have a higher self-esteem. Maybe you are a runner I know from experience this takes work and always admire the runners who seem like they are floating on air. If that is, you sign up for more races. Feel good about running. Figure out your core competencies and find opportunities and careers that highlight them.
Stop Putting Yourself Down:
This goes with affirmations however this is so important when it comes to self-esteem. When our self-esteem is low, we as humans are likely to fuel the fire and damage it even more by being self-critical. One thing I learned to do that works is to replace self-criticism with self-compassion. So many of us will talk to ourselves horrible but there is no way we would speak that way to someone else. You need to learn to love and respect yourself as much as you would a best friend or a spouse. Lead with compassion for yourself. When you feel like you are judging yourself too harshly try to see something good you love about yourself. By replacing the negative with positive it Is going to make you feel so much better about yourself and will help your self-esteem. If you need help with this follow the next step below.
Recognize Your Real Worth:
I have learned this is a great exercise that will help build your self-esteem. Make a list of qualities you have that are meaningful in your life. For example, if you got rejected by a date list quality that make you a good relationship prospect (for example if you are loyal or emotional available.) Maybe you didn’t get a promotion at work make a list of what makes you a great employee (you are responsible and have a great worth ethic.) After you make a list choose one of the items on this list and write a brief paragraph about why the quality is valuable and appreciated by other people in the future. Try doing this exercise weekly until you feel a self-esteem boost.
At the end of the day the bottom line is improving self-esteem does require a bit of work. It is like anything else in life you have to practice and then practice some more. Once you get in the habit of doing positive habits verses negative habits you will notice your life begin to change. Remember this your mind is more powerful than you realize it is and you have the power to change your thoughts. Stop being a victim to what may be in the past and start getting excited about your future. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are powerful, you are wonderfully made, and you are unstoppable. Once you start to do this you will notice your self-esteem begin to change. I use to be intimidated by my lack of education and wouldn’t say much for fear of judgement and embarrassment. Once I realized I am proud of who God made me and I can do anything I set my mind to. It may take me a little longer but that is okay. It isn’t how fast you are it only matters that you don’t quit. I hope you enjoyed reading this blog! Blessings!